Kindness

Do you find yourself speaking less kind toward your spouse than you would when you had first met each other?  I do.  In Becky Thompson’s book Love Unending she targets this as the second task to improve.  Love and marriage is her knowledge territory therefore I’m all about taking her expertise and practicing it in my life.

Being aware of, and improving, your own flaws is the best way to enhance any situation.  In my journey of 2017 I’ve been refining all of my relationships.  Some people had to go because they were nothing but negative, others had to be censored a little to help avoid the toxicity, and other relationships simply need more positive attention.

Luckily my husband and I don’t have a tough relationship but I’d rather put preventative work into it than have to re-mediate a situation.

I’ve witnessed people throwing their significant other’s belongings out the front door while demeaning and absolutely tearing them down; if they had worked on their relationship before things had gone sour it would be easier sailing.

I’ve also seen couples who never argue, ever.  These couples are aware of the best way to approach an issue and they use those techniques throughout their relationship.  (The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a good book to help couples with this area.)

We aspire to be like the latter.  Since reading this second chapter in Becky Thompson’s book we have noticed that outside stressors cause us to become snippy with each other.  These stressors can be in the form of the toxic relationships mentioned previously or common stress-causing situations in day to day life.

We have seen this task improve drastically because I don’t find myself being treated poorly by others and then mirroring said behavior onto my husband.  I have more patience.  I’m behaving how I naturally would (and did when we first met), without censoring myself and becoming strained by not being comfortable.  I hope you can also notice any shortcomings you can work on to better the environment you live in. ❤

Purchase Becky Thompson’s book here and begin improving your marriage now!  Watch out for more posts as we continue our journey through her recommendations.

9781601428103

To read the previous task click here

Improving marriage

In most aspects of life my family lives by the motto “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” however within our relationships at home and surrounding our home, we don’t want things to break, ever.

With the extra energy I’ve gained since removing toxic relationships I’ve been able to focus on improving the positive relationships in my life.  In order to do this I first had to recognize where I was lacking as a spouse, mother, or friend.  I cannot try to improve these relationships by dictating what others should improve, as that would have the opposite outcome, I must focus on and refine myself.

I purchased a book called Love Unending by Becky Thompson and began reading it this morning.

In her story, Becky describes her father as her inspiration.  He is patient and so obviously loving.  She seeks his relationship advice, which is to love your spouse as though it’s your first day of marriage.  She then goes on to say that her ideal relationship point to aspire toward was actually not then, but prior to her and her husband’s marriage, which I agree for ours.

When we got married we had already been living together, our roommate was a drunk who was sleeping with one of my sisters, my husband was working about 80 hours a week (many of them overnight shifts), and I was working part time and a student full time.  Talk about never again.  It was stressful.

Prior to our engagement we were both college students, living on campus, with a lot of free time and a healthy amount of responsibility.  It was perfect, the only thing that was better then than now was that we had predictable schedules.  Now, he never knows when he’ll be home from work, whether it be 3:30 or 10:00; he’s gone for weeks on end, and almost all of our attention is focused on the girls.

The first task in Becky’s book is to greet your spouse how you would greet them in the prime of your relationship.  I was happy to see Will simply for him 5 years ago.  I’ll have to admit that today I’m happy to see him more for his ability to help me than for his own presence.

That will change.  The next time I greet him I will greet him as I did for during the firey part of our relationship.

I am immersed in this task, and we will walk in love. ❤

9781601428103

To read to the second task  click here

5k training

I have this big desire to be able to workout without inconveniencing my family.  I love cycling but that isn’t practical when I have to leave my dogs at home and find somebody to watch my girls.  If I’m outside working out why do my dogs need to be crated and bored?  That caused me to want to run; although I have always seriously disliked running.  I purchased a single jogger after Elizabeth was born and ran for a bit until I finally received a diagnosis of diastasis recti for my super fun ab issues.  At that point I stopped running and began physical therapy (while being pregnant with Alodia) and all was well.  That stroller became our beach junker and is still used when I only run with one of the girls.

I recently purchased a double jogger, my absolute favorite stroller: the Baby Jogger Summit x3 double.  Seriously I haven’t used any of my other 4 strollers since purchasing this one. #strollerhoarder

I am following the zen labs fitness app C25K which is a good coach and challenges me just enough to keep my motivation up.  This stroller practically pulls me along, unless the coastal winds are blowing against me which is always a great time.

My husband and I have signed up for a stroller-friendly 5k hosted by and benefiting the Semper Fi Fund.  We will be running it with his unit’s team and I plan to run it from start to finish.  Most likely he’ll be pushing the stroller so our times can be better, but I haven’t made a final decision about that yet.

Back to my favorite stroller ever – since finding this gem we have already committed to giving our Baby Jogger City Mini GT Double to a friend who is having a second child.  I’m not sure I can rid myself of our other strollers: our city select with second seat, single jogger, and umbrella stroller.  Feel free to give me words of encouragement that I can minimize my strollers down, and wish me luck while training for my 5k next month! 😀