No, you jerk, I’m due in 17 days, thanks.
Any of you who have been through an entire pregnancy, you most likely know how I feel. I have gained roughly 38 pounds; I am well aware that I look like I am about to pop any day now, and I am no longer going to be patient and understanding toward those who comment such remarks as the title and these awesome statements that I, or friends of mine have received:
- “Are you sure it’s just one?”
- “Since you will now have both a boy and a girl you’re done, right?”
- “You aren’t wearing a wedding ring, it must be difficult raising children on your own.”
I have decided a few responses which I will keep to myself unless the time comes, so watch out impolite people! I am not one to comment on a person physically unless it is the simple, kind, “you look great” etc. However, since becoming pregnant I have noticed that it is socially acceptable for anybody and everybody to comment on a pregnant woman’s body. This makes me wonder: Is it then okay for a pregnant woman to respond criticizing the other person’s body? That could be so much fun.
People say the most bizarre things to pregnant women about their bodies or physical aspects. For example: Here I am, minding my own business in public when an elderly man in conversation near me turns to me and says, “When were you due, like, yesterday?” Yes, I’m being serious, he actually did that. Not only was this person a man, which implies that he most likely has never been a woman, and is even less likely to have ever endured a pregnancy, but he was old. (Think of all the impolite options I had as responses!) To be honest, I was caught off guard and in my work environment so I was unable to respond with a snarky comment. Instead, I politely asked him to repeat himself and answered his question honestly. Old man, though I know you will not, I hope you read this. Here are a couple reasons why keeping your ill-mannered comments to yourself when speaking to a pregnant woman is the better option:
We, as pregnant women in our third trimester, are well aware of how large we appear. You may see it, but we see, feel, and live it. Thanks for the reminders, jerks.
We have feelings.
And many more of them than you do at the moment, so watch out. We are also capable of going from nice sweet little ladies to your worst nightmare, red eyed satan-like in an instant. You can thank our lovely hormones for that one.
We are not making rude comments about your body.
If we have, then feel free. If we have not, please keep in mind that you cause more harm by your mindless remarks about our bodies than you do help.
If you must make a comment about a pregnant woman’s body, please feel free to! I will more than welcome with open arms comments such as:
- “You look wonderful!”
- “You are rocking your pregnant belly.”
- “I love your (enter any reasonable thing here: hair, outfit, belly, etc).”
If you approach me with any of those comments I will graciously accept you. We can be friends and have a nice chat. Please be nice to everybody, but especially super round pregnant women surviving in 115 degree desert heat (yeah, that’s true too.) What is the most absurd comment you have received during your pregnancy and what have you wanted to respond with (or what did you)?